I have come to the realization that there are many things I just don’t care about – yet social media and the media in general keeps telling me I am supposed to care. You know, like how others think or feel. Am I supposed to care about your gender or how you refer to yourself? I actually do not care what you call yourself, be it he/she/they/whatever. Give me your name and I will call you by that. Why should I have to be invested in your preference? Do you care about mine? Why should you. That’s my business. I respect your right to call yourself whatever you want. But, please do not make it my business.

Do I care what bathroom you use? Not really. I have one bathroom in my home. It is not labeled with nice little pictures of a male or female. I actually let anyone who needs to use my bathroom. So, I don’t care about that. It is your battle if you need to fight about having a place to pee and are prevented from that. Is it right – NO. Preventing anyone from being able to express their bodily functions is truly wrong. However, if that is your issue, you need to deal with it. I just cannot join the bandwagon to fight this battle (which in my opinion – is utterly inane to begin with).

Every time I go online, there is another issue that someone on social media believes I should get invested in – be it a strike, someone else’s rights having been violated, the weight of a celebrity, Megan Markle and on and on and on. Why?

I have my own issues. How much of my life should be invested in your issues if I do not know you, have absolutely no relationship with you nor want to expend my energy to take up the cause that is yours and possibly yours alone.

There are so many people and things I do care about – my family, friends, my neighborhood, my clients, the climate, my health. These things affect me directly. But, please stop getting in my face about taking up your causes. You see, I just don’t care.

Write me and let me know if you agree, disagree or don’t care.


Everyday we hear or read about some employee issues. There is a new thing now called Resenteism (a word that has yet to be included in dictionaries of any kind). There was always something known as Presenteeism at work, which sort of meant that you came to work physically but weren’t there mentally or otherwise – you were just collecting your paycheck and basically giving your boss nothing. There is also a meaning that you come in when you actually have a legitimate reason to stay home (illness, etc.) Either way, you are non-productive.

It seems that the expectation that employees have from their employers or potential employers has gotten out of control. Yes, you have the right to a respectful, healthy, non-bullying workplace. And, you should be paid a living wage and one commensurate with your workload. However, lately employees make all sorts of demands on the workplace. It seems the younger generation and the Millennials have unrealistic and insane expectations of what a job is and what it ‘should’ give them.

So, for the benefit of both the employee and the employer, remember it is a job (not your life). Hopefully, you, as an employee, are treated with respect and paid commensurate with both your abilities and your productivity – and not dependent on your gender. If you find it is something you like and are good at, and it pays your bills, then be the best employee you can be. If there is true injustice – not that you just don’t like a co-worker – advocate to make a change. If it’s just your opinion and has nothing to do with your workload or even the reputation of the company, learn how to accept and shed positive energy onto the situation. Find your fulfillment outside your job. Your passions might not pay the bills, but they have a right to full expression.

Maybe you like to paint or sing or dance. Work may just not be the place for it, unless you work at a dance studio. Do this outside of work and guess what, you will enjoy your work more and find it a better place to spend your 8 or 9 hours a day.

If you are the manager or owner, please make sure to treat your employees with dignity and kindness. Remember to acknowledge their efforts. Without them, you wouldn’t have a company. They make it possible for you to have what you want, I assume. Employees leave their jobs because they are mistreated and/or not acknowledged for the work they do (on your behalf). When employees are rewarded with a ‘thank you’, a ‘you did a great job’ maybe a $10 Starbucks card, they feel appreciated and their opinion of the work place is greatly improved. And, you, as the boss – well you reap a lot of rewards for this.

With many people choosing to work from home or occasionally going into the office now, things have changed greatly. But, no matter where you are working, appreciation, consideration and respect make an incredible difference in the workplace and the workforce.


What a time we live in when so many people are so angry over everything. I was angry today over some horrible customer service I received. What a nightmare that was. It took hours to get it resolved and I ended up posting a negative review. That was my outlet. I”m not angry anymore. It’s over. And, it was something I could do something about.

Turns out most people get angry over things they cannot control and just feel powerless. Like politics. Unless it’s November, you haven’t got much power over what politicians and/or billionaires are doing. So, what do we do – we get angry, mad, frustrated. Some people reach for substances that are deleterious to their health and minds. Some turn their anger inward and do physical self harm or harm others.

What happens when anger is how we react in everyday life. Not just angry over things we have no control, but anger at loved ones, co-workers, bosses, wait staff, and dare I say, customer service people. So, why is it?

The main reason is that people seem to have this innate need to be right. Now if you need to be right and I need to be right, how does that work? That means I am wrong and you are wrong. Again, how does that work? It doesn’t. If you didn’t have the need to be right about almost everything, how would your life be?

For me, letting go of being right makes me calmer, happier and able to function in life a whole lot better. So, to sum this up – forget about being right all the time. Tell the other person – okay – you’re right (even if they’re not) and no argument. Are you yelling at the tv – it’s because you are right and they are most assuredly wrong. Change the channel. It stops.

Yes, there are many things wrong in the world. But, getting angry and turning yourself into knots and making everyone around you miserable, is not an answer.

There are ways to have a productive ‘argument’…a better way to communicate. But for now, just let go of having to be right all the time. Arguments will end immediately. Go for a walk and know you are okay the way you are.


Everyday I am bombarded with another article or blog or email about what is and is not good for my health. I have lived many years now and I realize that people can go pretty crazy with all the information that attacks their inboxes. After awhile, you don’t care how much meat or potentially carcinogenic products you consume. BUT, for me, that “I don’t give a damn” attitude lasts for a day or two and then I am back on the wagon of ‘health.’

I ran across another well researched article form today that I wanted to share. Of course, it is one more thing to make us believe big corporations want to kill us, but that would mess up their base. They do, however, want to addict us to their products and make us ‘loyal’ customers who come back no matter what they put in their products or how they modify the size of the containers.

The article focused on chemicals in products we use daily that are incredibly harmful to our health and can be not only carcinogens, but also hormone disruptors. Hormone disruptors can cause many health conditions, including behavioral issues, i.e., depression, irritability, ADD, anxiety, even autism and more. Here are some of the chemicals to look for when shopping for anything you may put in and on your body.

  1. Formaldehyde – A known carcinogen that has been banned in cosmetics and toiletries in both Japan and Sweden. Its use has also been restricted by the European Commission. Of course, in the U.S., no such ban exists because it is all about money and definitely not your health. You can find this in nail polish, shampoos (watch out for baby shampoos), hair gel, body soap, and lots of cosmetics.
  2. Parabens – Another toxic ingredient found in beauty products. They are known hormone disruptors. As an endocrine disruptor they mimic estrogen and may cause breast cancer.
  3. Phthlates – Another hormone disruptor that is used to affect texture in products. Found in nail polish and hairspray, as well as many perfumes. It can also be labeled as DBP, DEHP and DEP. If you ask a sales person, they are not likely to have any knowledge of the chemical composition of any of their products. You will have to look on a label or do some research.
  4. Toluene – A solvent that is toxic to both the liver and the immune system. It also goes under the name of BHT. It is usually found in nail polish and hair dye. Toluene can also cause birth defects. Be studious if you are pregnant about using any product with this substance.
  5. Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS) – is typically in almost all cosmetic products. It is a harsh sulfate found in shampoo, toothpaste, soaps and is part of the family of nitrosamines. These can lead to cancer, liver and kidney damage. Look for Sulfate free products. More and more companies are making SLS free products.
  6. Polyethylene Glycol (PEG) – Another toxic ingredient found in beauty products that is used as a thickener. The common form is called PEG-10 LAURATE and is also a skin irritant.
  7. Triclosan – Though banned by the FDA in soaps, it is still used in antiperspirants mostly. A 2018 study linked this chemical to gut inflammation and tumor growth. Look for it on your products and avoid it completely.
  8. Ethanolamine Compounds (MEA, DEA, TEA) – Linked to Liver tumors. These chemicals can be found in so many cosmetics that you will need to research any hair conditioners, dyes, lotions, shaving creams, waxes, ointments, sunscreens, eyeliners, mascara eye shadows, blush and even foundations. I probably have this in my make-up drawer now. In Europe, they are prohibited. The U.S. does not prohibit any of these chemicals from our products.
  9. Benzophenone – Linked to cancer, endocrine disruption, developmental and reproductive and organ toxicity. This chemical can be found in baby sunscreens, lip balm, ail polish, shampoo and conditioners, moisturizers and foundations.

Typically, the daily products we use that contain these chemicals are a lot cheaper than the organic and safe ones. But, the healthier you are, the less you will spend on the doctors, medicine tomorrow. If you use products today that cause your body to go toxic, you will not be able to work and make the money to buy even the cheap ones. You don’t have to wash your hair daily (too drying). You can use less products than you think and they will go a long way.

Your health and happiness is the most important thing in life. If using a simple product can change how you feel and act, it is worth a few extra pennies – even dollars. I am definitely going to be careful about any nail polish I use. Most are unsafe.

Look for products that contain safe chemicals, like aloe vera, polysaccharides, vitamin E. hyaluronic acid, and organic and natural ingredients. There are lists of these products on the internet. Research before you buy. If you see these chemicals in any of your products, avoid them if at all possible.

To your health…



Just had the delightful experience of being on Dr. Sarah Young’s podcast discussing my book (PAIN MADE ME CRAZY AND WHAT I DID TO HEAL) and alternative treatments. Take a moment and listen – you can go back and pick up where you left off if you can’t listen to the entire podcast at once.

The link is:

It is also available on Dr. Red’s website and through Facebook: DrRedSays.

Of course, you can go to Amazon or your local bookstore to get the book (also available as an e-book) and have it forever. Use it as a reference book as well as it contains lots of information on off the beaten path treatments that I tried, personally.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Enjoy the book.


It’s been quite sometime since I had an entry in this blog. So, for my readers, I apologize. Life has been interesting under Covid both for me and my clients. It seemed that I thought it did not bother me so much as I am able to work remotely from home and have family around me. Also, we are all vaccinated, and have felt pretty safe,

But, I realize that in spite of all this, this pandemic has taken its toll on me and many of my clients – causing more anxiety than previously. It is also interesting that most of us are unaware of the toll that the pandemic has taken on our psyches. We feel we are managing – and most of us are. But, never knowing if someone you are near is spreading something or even if you might be asymptomatic and spreading to someone else, can be unconsciously stressful. Feeling isolated, which is horrible in itself, and not being able to move about freely just feels so UnAmerican.

I began to realize more deeply the effect of this rampant virus when any of my plans to travel or visit others or even attend a book club meeting were being severely curtailed. People are returning to traveling now, but the thought of getting on a crowded plane and going through a crowded airport with people who don’t wear masks or wear them incorrectly (below their nose) is upsetting to me.

I do not mind wearing a mask. It is much better than having to be intubated and wearing a ventilator and not being able to breathe. A mask is a minor inconvenience. If that will help me stay healthy and help others, I am not offended. What kind of a person would I be if I wouldn’t do that? What kind of therapist and healthcare professional would I be if I complained about wearing a mask when out and about.

I don’t like masks either. It would be nice to feel free again and not worry. But, perhaps this virus is a lesson for all of us. That lesson is showing us what kind of people we are if we do not care about each other or about the world. Who are we if we blame a race or a doctor or a politician or whomever for a ‘disease.’ Can you imagine if we politicized cancer or diabetes or muscular dystrophy. Please – this kind of thinking is absurd.

We are so fortunate to have a vaccine that works. That in itself is pretty amazing. Both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines have over 90% efficacy. This is almost unheard of in medical research. The flu vaccine is only 40-60% effective – yet everyone is willing to take that. And, yes, people do die from the flu. Our children are vaccinated against childhood diseases. Why do we do that? Because we love them and want them to be safe.

I understand not wanting vaccinations – I really do. There is a lot of information that some of them have done harm. But, by and large, vaccinations have changed our healthcare system. People live longer and do not die from polio or smallpox, nor diphtheria anymore due to vaccinations.

And, for those of you who might be reading this who do not want to get vaccinated, nor wear a mask, nor even wash your hands frequently, think of those you love. Think of others as well as yourself. If you get covid and are not vaccinated, it is a little too late to beg the doctors to give you the vaccine.

Be gracious, be kind. Let us all care for each other by respecting each other during this extraordinary time. If you want to get back to normal, or at least a semblance of normal, please get vaccinated; wear a mask and understand that we are all going through this – together.

It will reduce Covid anxiety.